Hi Reader,

Here are two contradictory stories.

We were visiting my parents recently and I was complaining about finances and kids and the lack of sleep that results from those things. I felt like I was telling a true story. My dad said something that cut through my bullshit: "Nothing wrong with that. Life is always hard." Also a true story.

Now, one more story, bending the truth yet further.

A friend mentioned a bumper sticker they'd seen which said, "Life is easy. Golf is hard." Years later, I still recall laughing at the ring of truth in that statement.

I recently returned from a boardgaming weekend with my friends (for which I am grateful to my wife and kids for supporting me in attending). I didn't play golf. Some of my friends played disc golf. That's on topic, but not really relevant. What IS relevant is that I noticed how games are happening at all levels. There's the game itself, where I'm moving my pieces to accomplish my goals or thwart my opponents. Then there's the relationship the people playing the game have to the game, which ranges from enjoyment to frustration to anger. All of which are valid responses to choose (though not all of them feel like choices). There are also the games of "which game should we play next?" and "which of these guys do I prefer to game with?" and "should I go to sleep now or push through for another couple hours?" and of course "how much beer and candy is too much?"

A lot of the choices we make while playing games of this sort don't feel like choices. When I get frustrated about a game that's going badly for me, it doesn't feel like I'm making the choice to do that. But when I really look at it, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what I'm doing. Exactly like how I'm frustrated about my lack of sleep, because I'm not aware that I'm choosing to play a game called "I should be getting enough sleep." There's no rule written in the universe that I should get enough sleep. That's something I chose, then forgot that I chose. Doesn't mean it's easy to be sleep deprived. It just means there's nothing inherently wrong with it. It's not a violation of the rules of the ultimate game, Life.

Another game I find myself playing a lot has a rule that goes something like, "I shouldn't make mistakes," or maybe, "I shouldn't forget things." I beat myself up a lot for losing that game. But I'm putting in the work and becoming more aware of when I start doing that.

It's funny, as I become more aware of the games I play, I feel a temptation to try to stop playing them. At the same time, as I continue to grow, I realize more and more that there's no way out of the trap that Life's got me in. It's impossible to stop playing games, because that's what Life is. See, another way to articulate my dad's truth that "life is hard" is just to say, "if you stop playing, you die."

I'm also just starting to realize something on a deeper level, too, which is that there isn't even anything wrong with dying. Still, we're all playing the game of survival. Maybe that's the "shallowest" game in life. Or maybe it's the deepest one, the one that Life (or God or SE or whatever term you prefer) gave us the most powerful instruction to keep playing. I think of the instruction as "SURVIVE," but the old scriptures says it like, "be fruitful and multiply." There are lots of ways to say it, and none of them are really true, either.

Still, we keep playing. And that's a true story, too. At least for now.